Uncle Jimmie's Pheasant Recipe

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Uncle Jimmie's Roast Pheasant

You can't buy this in a restaurant for love nor money. Uncle Jimmie's roast pheasant recipe solves all the dryness and gaminess problems that usually accompany pheasant. A successful roast pheasant is the result of a confluence of the efforts of several skilled artisans: the wine maker, the gun maker, the engraver, the dog trainer, the hunting guide, and the wing shooter who finds it necessary to spend time away from his loving family.

Requires one year and three to six days to prepare. Serves 2.

Ingredients:
One oz. to 1 and ¼ oz. of no. 4 shot, per pheasant.
One good dog (A good dog is 99.44 percent purely required.)
One shotgun (the newer and more expensive the shotgun, the better the pheasant will taste. If you think that this isn't true, ask your husband.).
One fresh pheasant.
One bottle of the sweetest and cheapest red wine that is available (e.g. MD 2020) Note: MD really stands for Mogan David.
One bottle of a light bouncy German white wine.
One quart of soy sauce.

Preparation:

The dog will take at least a year to train. You need training, too. You may need more than the dog. Go to the Rod and Gun Club with that new shotgun. Practice shooting ahead of the bird.
Read the hunting regulations booklet that came with your license, then call your legal counsel to find out what all that means.
Harvest several fresh pheasants (You have gone through a lot more than any chef in the free world go through, you may as well harvest more than one.)
Thoroughly clean, and pluck the pheasant. Remove all shot from the pheasant. I can not stress enough that bird shot left in the pheasant will spoil the meal. Lead is not among the listed ingredients. Please see above.
Pour the red wine into a tall plastic pitcher (the kind that is usually reserved for your kids' kool aid). If you thought that I meant the kind of red wine reserved for your kids' kool aid, then you should stop doing that.
Add an equal amount of soy sauce to the pitcher.
Place one pheasant in the pitcher of soy sauce and red wine. Note: the liquid should cover the pheasant. If not, add a little wine to the chef, and a little water to the pitcher.
Place the pitcher, liquid, and pheasant into the refrigerator for three days.
After three days, roast the pheasant as if it were a chicken, while pouring a glass of white wine into the chef.
Serve with wild rice, and the fresh steamed vegetables of your choice.
Garnish with another glass of white wine.
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